Can I, ‘Er, Have Some Lotion?
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Gervis went fishing down at the banks of where the Ozan Creek met the Little Missouri River. It was a hot day and there wasn’t nobody else around so he took off all his clothes and went skinny dippin’ for a while. As he was hung over from the night before once he was finished swimming he fell asleep on the river bank for several hours and got one hell of a gosh awful sunburn. He looked like roasted razorback.
Gervis’s skin was all cracklin’ and hot. He felt like someone to a horseshoe file to his skin then applied cayenne sauce to top off the torture. Fannie rushed him to go see Doc Jessup who diagnosed Gervis with second-degree burns over 80% of his body. Gervis’s skin was starting to blister like the whites of eggs frying so Doc Jessup gave him continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and two Viagra pills every hour.
Fannie Mae, whose curiosity was now “aroused”, asked Doc Jessup what good Viagra would do for old Gervis.
“It ain’t gone do nothing for his condition,” said Doc Jessup, “But it’ll keep shol’ the sheets off his legs.”
